I’m sending out my annual Christmas newsletter in June. We are in week i-don’t-even-know-anymore of quarantine. Well, honestly, not all of us are in quarantine. By the looks of things, I think several people apparently finished quarantine early. I just tell my kids that some people are naturally gifted and finish things quicker than others.
But us? We are still trying to pretend like we don’t “need” to go to Target several times a week, all willy nilly (okay, that’s just me, I really miss willy nilly). But did Target do anything to help make this easier, NO. They kept their perfectly curated Target whimsy and their dollar bins and then just sat there and watched us TRY to not need them. Meanwhile, my Target Red Card sadly collecting dust while my Cartwheel app was auto uninstalling from my iPhone. …
It was only an hour and a half into the first day of my son’s summer enrichment program when my phone began to ring.
I had dropped him off with high hopes and typical fears telling him to have a good day, make friends, enjoy the activities and just participate a little. I found a Dunkin Donuts approximately two minutes from campus and set up my workspace until dismissal. I was ready in case anything went off the rails.
There I was, nervously working and sipping coffee when my phone lit up and began to vibrate. I wanted to grab the phone and yell, “What happened? …
Yep, I overslept.
It’s 6:45 AM, and I have managed to successfully “snooze” 8 times and now, as I look at my phone, I realize that my son has approximately 6 minutes to get completely ready for school and BE at the bus stop.
I love starting the day with this much adrenaline.
I jump out of bed and run to stand over him, “GET UP, WE’VE GOT TO GO, YOU NEED TO GET DRESSED…NOW.”
I am 99.9% certain that I am more annoying than any alarm clock that has ever been invented. …
Even the first settlers dreamed of walk-in closets.
House Hunters International
With a budget of $500,000, Brent and Ashley are 30-somethings who have decided to take time off from their busy lives by kicking off the dust of San Antonio and planting down secondary roots in Turks and Caicos.
House #1 is four times their budget but has the 360-degree ocean views they wanted and used to be owned by Sylvester Stallone.
Ashley: So house #1 is a little more expensive than we were hoping, but you couldn’t ask for more character. …
In eleven easy steps.
You hear water. It’s 6:30 in the morning and you think to yourself, “Man, it is REALLY coming down out there.”
Step One: Head over to the dining room window and watch as the water cascades down the window pane. Nature is amazing.
Step Two: In horror, you realize that the water is cascading down on the same side of the window you are on. You step back and like an offensive hip hop song you see that the water is actually, FROM THE WINDOW TO THE WALL…everywhere. …
Once Upon a Time, someone died.
Not only did that person die, but also they died in the South.
Across town, nine church ladies are going about their business when one after another, they get the call. Each one reaches for the phone.
“Ivanelle Wilson died.”
That is all need be said. In a matter of moments, these brave little old ladies are filling the aisles of Winn Dixie or Piggly Wiggly or Kroger. Buggies are being filled with watermelons, corn on the cob, chicken, potatoes, crackers, cheeses, butter and every cream soup known to man. Their mission is clear. …
Not too long ago I was chaperoning a field trip for my son’s class. We went to a museum that had an authentic exhibit about everyday life in Colonial days.
For those people who aren’t history buffs, this is a time before Cheez-its. People didn’t have cars. Couples didn’t get in fights over the thermostat, because basically, you either had a fire or you didn’t. Also, dinner was whatever had been killed alongside whatever was in the spooky root cellar with the spiders and possibly snakes.
It was a dark, dark period.
One plus, kids ate everything because they literally didn’t know when they would eat again. …
From an early age, I was taught to eat the food that was put in front of me. No matter what it was. My mother was determined to raise polite girls who showed appreciation as dinner guests. We would roll up to a friend or relative’s house only to be gently reminded by my mother that, “Even if you are served dog food, eat it, smile and ask for seconds.”
My mother was not someone I wanted to challenge. So for years, I ate whatever was served without questioning it, my mom, or the person serving it…no one.
Until one day, I met chicken salad. …
Originally published at http://www.rachelwriteshere.com.
I am having the most difficult time trying to keep my six-year-old on a diet.
I know this is for his own good and I have tried to explain this to him several times, but he refuses to adhere to the aforementioned (and simple) eating plan that I have laid out for him for this particular weekend. It’s absolutely the most frustrating journey to healthy living I’ve ever been on. This includes the healthy living journeys I start every Monday.
You see, for two days, my son has been up sick all night only to then stay awake all day sneaking food out of my pantry with the stealth and skill that would school Oliver Twist. He’s a food stealing prodigy and he has absolutely no concern whatsoever for his current lack of gastrointestinal fortitude. …